Sunday, June 04, 2006

To Save A Prince

We had no idea how far the decpetion had gone until we found the charred bodies in a pit, & then the barely legible remains of a dog tag. Colonel Hardass & his men were jumped, beaten, then murdered by El-Quacko terrorists. Long under suspicion of harbouring & arming terrorists Sobiet Camuckistan was where we were inserted. Scattered across the country we remained in contact via the holo-sphere. I was tasked with assuming the identity of a native in a city called Cowpie where rumor had it El-Quacko terrorists shipped vast amounts of credits to the Midule East. Rumour also had it that El-Quacko had begun indoctrinating the local population & so the face of terrorism changed. The typical turban wearing terrorist was a thing of the past. A clean shaven executive was the new look. Anyhow this particulair tale involves the time when Prince Funkyolddude was visiting. Long considered an ally to Great Brighton, Sobiet Canuckistan was hardly a place where royalty might get into trouble.

"The infidels will now learn we can go anywhere & do anything now!" Maktalak Fartypants said.

"Algebra Snackbar!" Melvin Doughnuteater replied.

They then fired their feces guns into the air & danced around in circles while waiting for the motorcade to appear. Little did they know my & my team (The Rock N Roll Allstars) were in the cars & not the Prince who we had warned.

Meanwhile at the Cosmic Ranger Cafe the Prince & his entourage had a mid afternoon snack of crumpets & some tea.

"This is bloody fabulous tea Smitty!" the Prince said to his butler

"Do you want to me to purchase some more to take home, sir?" the butler replied.

"You are damn well right, actually... why not just purchase the company instead?" the Prince said.

"I'll have your accountants look into it tommorow, my Lord." Smitty answered

Meanwhile in the motorcade things were starting to get crazy, a rocket propelled acidic turd hit the lead car, then the limo.

"Ah, my nose is melting!" Screamed Private Partz as we put on our gas masks & waited for the smoke to clear.

"Eggsalad Retard" screamed one of the terrorists as they neared the cars & we opened fire. Yes even though they were clad in the uniforms of Sobiet Canuckistan we found the terrorists & delivered some justice Rock N Roll All Star style.

Ah yes those days gone by when I was a young lad, I never will forget. Here I am now a man way beyond my prime at 158, only kept alive due to the doctors inserting new parts after the old ones wear out. My oh my how I envy those who lived normal lives a few millenia ago.


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